January 18, 2015

Miss Selah June has really been struggling.  The RSV is no joke, and we are finally starting to take a turn for the better.  With Dad gone for the last few days, we’ve spent tons of time rocking and watching Baby Einstein puppet videos on YouTube.  We also discovered Rehab Addict and became addicts ourselves.

At some point, you just become one with your house, and you can’t imagine life outside those four walls.  I hear it was cold and then it warmed back up, but I wouldn’t know.

Needless to say, we counted down the hours till Daddy’s arrival.  It’s hard holding a baby while she has a coughing fit to the point of vomiting up everything in her stomach.  We changed more outfits (hers and mine) and washed more blankets than I care to count.  It’s also hard sleeping when you’re not sure that the baby is able to breathe well.  She’s quiet, but does that mean she’s okay?  What if she’s dead?  Ever thought about that?  (uggghhh)  By the time Jeremy got home, I was a little over all the anxiety.

Sure enough, as soon as he pulled in the driveway, she woke up from a long nap, choking like nobody’s business.  It was her worst choking fit of the whole sickness.  So scary!!  I watched her little eyes get more and more red, her color turn blue, and her poor little veins pop out in her neck and her forehead.  Yuck.  I just hate it so much.  You feel so terribly helpless.  I pounded on her back and stretched up her little arms.  I’ve gotta stop talking about it.  It’s making me nauseous.

So… Daddy came home.  They spent the evening cooing and cuddling.  If any picture can communicate a thousand words or more, this one can.

January 15, 2015

Well…  It’s Thursday.  We’ve been suffering with RSV over here.  I don’t like to watch babies be sick AT ALL!!  I feel so helpless.  Selah June has no idea what’s happening to her.  We can’t encourage her to talk because it makes her cough which makes her puke which makes her really mad.  We can’t take her outside because it’s damp and dreary out there.  All we can do it hold her and clear boogers out of her nose.  It’s pretty depressing.

I was supposed to go to New Orleans for the Southern, but I decided to cancel my trip and stay home.  Jeremy’s out of town again this weekend, and I just couldn’t handle the thought of leaving SJ with Grammy in this condition.

NOLA will still have a beer with my name on it next year.

January 11, 2015

Today I had the opportunity to clean up a real mess.  During a morning nap, she woke up and let out a cry — a different cry.  When I came around the corner, I saw her face peeking over the edge of her co-sleeper covered….

COVERED

Her whole face was covered in spit up.  The sides of her face were covered.  Her eyes were covered.  Her nose was covered. It was in her hair.  I think it’s safe to say that she legitimately puked on herself.

With Jeremy away, I had to keep my wits about me and figure out the best way to both calm her down and clean her up.  I realized the spit up was probably burning her nose…. maybe her eyes too.  Uggghhhh

We got cleaned up and in a new set of clothes, but she was a little shaken…and so was I.  For the first time, I really felt like I was responsible for her welfare and all alone.  If something happened, it would be up to me.  That’s a huge and scary responsibility.  I also felt a little sick because I knew that she felt a little sick.

We’ve spent the day once again at home.  We both could use a little rest.

January 10

Selah June and I are spending a quality weekend together.  With Daddy gone to Oklahoma, we’re taking the opportunity to hunker down and stock up on snuggles.

She seems to be developing a bit of a sleep schedule.  No matter when she goes to bed for the night — 8 or 11 — she’s sleeping for about 11-12 hours and getting up only once.  It’s amazing the difference it’s made in our quality of sleep.  I feel almost normal again.

January 8, 2015

i think we found our thumb today.

Selah June might be a thumb sucker.  Over the last few days, Grammy has been experimenting with putting her down as soon as she starts shaking her arms frantically because she’s getting fussy.  And she’s responded by self-soothing, sucking on her fingers for comfort.  Hurray!!!!

i don’t particularly want to ween her from her own thumb down the road, but if it’s going to be either a pacifier or a thumb……   I’ll take the thumb.  Less work for me.  And these are baby teeth, right?  How jacked up can her mouth really get over the next few years?  (SPOKEN LIKE A TRUE CLOSET THUMB-SUCKER).  I might have sucked my thumb as late as the 1st or 2nd grade.

January 8, 2015

Selah June played so hard yesterday with Satie Isabella that by 8:00 last night she couldn’t hold her eyes open any longer.  Satie did ballet for her while she sat in her swing that plays classical music.  Satie read books to her and told her Bible stories.  They talked and giggled.  Total sweetness…

So we put Selah June to bed in the co-sleeper, and she slept and slept and slept.  She only woke up at 4:45 for a bottle and some quality time with Daddy.  Then she was back asleep until 9:00 when I had to wake her to go to Grammy’s.

I don’t want her to sleep all the time when she’s at home, but I do want her to be a good sleeper.  I want her to enjoy Grammy’s house as much as all the rest of us do.  I want her to have a wonderful relationship with her cousins, playing and singing and dancing and reading.

It’s been a good first week.

January 5, 2015

I am so blessed to have the family I do.

Our final adoption hearing was today.  Mom, Abigail (and Jules), Jessica and Jeremy met me at the courthouse in Dad’s office.  We went next door to Judge Nobles’ chambers to join our attorney for the hearing.  Mom asked to record it, and Judge Nobles’ allowed her to do so.

The attorney presented us to the judge and asked us each to state our full name and address for the record.  Then he asked the judge to approve our adoption petition.  She asked us why we wanted to adopt Selah June and what qualified us to adopt her. — Oh My Goodness —

I was not expecting her to ask me anything.  I thought my only job was to pay attention to Selah June, keeping her entertained while sitting in my lap at the judge’s conference table.  And then I had to talk. Ummmmm…….

So I just started talking.  “We were married in 2002…wait… 2003?  Uh…. something like that.  And we wanted kids.  And we couldn’t have them.”  At that point, I knew I was rambling and didn’t have a good landing in mind and wasn’t making any kind of case at all that I should go home with a kid.

Turn to Jeremy.

He started telling the judge some kind of poem about the circle of life and this not being an ending but really a beginning.  I don’t know.  Abigail was crying.

And then the judge just nodded and said that it was her pleasure to introduce for the first time Miss Selah June Evans.  (I’m so embarrassed.  She must think I’m some kind of big time idiot.

As you can see, it’s already turning into something of a blur.  So I guess it’s good Mom recorded it for all posterity.  I do know one thing, and that one thing will stick with me.

Selah June is now officially Selah June Evans.

January 3, 2014

Selah June and I had a whole Saturday together with no plans and no daddy.  Jeremy went with the men folk to the Gator game in Birmingham.  The game started at 11:00am, so they had to leave at 4:30am to get there with plenty of time to eat and get to the stadium before kickoff.  What was bound to be a rough night turned into a crazy rough night, and poor Jeremy left the house on about three hours of sleep.

I woke up with a migraine — the result of a bad combination of bad weather and little sleep.

Selah June is drooling and eating her hand ALL the time, so we think she is probably showing early signs of teething.  She was not that happy, and she really didn’t want to spend her Saturday sleeping.

So we spent time reading and rocking in my new rockers from Sam’s on the back porch.  This is a selfie from our time outside.  I really like it.  For me, it’s a beautiful reflection of the shift that happens with children.  The selfie is no longer about myself.  It’s about her and my hope for her joy.  I don’t care that it’s first thing in the morning, with no makeup, with crazy hair.  She looks great!  And most importantly, she’s happy…  We played with our rattles.  We drank lots of milk.  And Mom took Tylenol.  Though I tried to get up the energy to start a day out and about, it ended in both of us turning comatose at Grammy’s house.

We did manage to get it together enough to go to dinner with the fam.  Satie is all about Selah June.  She loves to get up close and giggle to make SJ smile.  Satie even reports that SJ laughed for the first time last night.  Grammy caught this precious moment between the two at Cracker Barrel.

December 31, 2014

Mom and Dad surprised us this evening with an offer to watch Selah June so that we could go have dinner together.  I wasn’t prepared at all for it.  In fact, I had already started thinking about all the junk TV we were going to watch on the couch with bowls of oatmeal.  Sounds like an awesome New Year’s Eve, doesn’t it?  We’re old, and we have a three-month-old.

We took them up on the spontaneous offer and promised to be back in an hour-and-a-half so that they could make their traditional steaks by 8:00 and watch their movies before ringing in the new year.

After dinner, Jeremy asked me what I think Selah June will be like when she gets older.  Will she like sports? music? clothes?  Will she sing and dance?  Will she be happy?

I said that if nature has its way, then she probably will be athletic, love family, like to cook and organize, and be wicked smart.  If nurture has its way, she’ll be stylish and witty…  😉  Jeremy agreed that she would probably get that from him.