November 26, 2015

Thanksgiving was crazy cakes at Mom and Dad’s house.  All of the family was at the “big kids table.”  That’s a total of 14 people – 8 adults and 6 children age 5 and under.  To say that it was “all hands on deck” grossly underestimates how out of control it was.  However, as I sat there marveling at the conversation and chaos, I was struck at how much of a fleeting phase this is bound to be.  In 5 years, the oldest kids will be disinterested in the adults or the babies.  The babies won’t be babies, and the adults will be begging for tender moments of snuggling with them all.

A part of me resented not being able to savor the treat of sweet potato casserole and dressing that I allow myself only on Thanksgiving and Christmas…having to wolf down a smorgasbord of desserts before tending to the baby.  But a much larger part focused on the smiling, the laughing, the chitter chatter, and the silliness that little ones bring in their wake.

Jeremy made another one of his investments, bringing a toy that providing gobs of entertainment and further securing his status as the beloved Uncle Jeremiah.

Pie Face

November 26, 2015

I’m thankful for Selah June.

Here is what she represents to me.

• unconditional love
• excruciatingly painful sacrifice
• willful obedience
• abiding faith and relentless hope
• peace through the storm
• family that stretches across genetics, heritage, and distance
• laughter from morning to night night
• curiosity and excitement for the next adventure
• relational, reciprocal, and limitless love
• mutual dependency mixed with frightening independence
• free will despite God’s omniscience and omnipotence

I don’t know why you should give thanks, but I know why I should.

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13

“I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep.” John 10:11

“And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.” Ephesians 5:2

“Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.” I John 4:7

“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” I Thessalonians 5:18

“O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good; for his mercy endureth forever.” I Chronicles 16:34

“Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.” Psalm 100:4

“Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits, even the God of our salvation. Selah.” Psalm 68:19

November 22, 2015

We spent Sunday relaxing and preparing for the week ahead.  Mostly, that meant cleaning up around the house and taking naps.  We did manage to venture out into the world after lunchtime to go get puppy food, visit the toy store, and stop by the park.  Family members have asked what to get Selah June for Christmas, and we haven’t really known what to tell them.  So we figured a trip to Babies R Us might give us a better feel for toys that Miss Priss might like.

It was SJ heaven…  She’s a BIG fan of the toy store.  See for yourself.

I also took a couple short videos to capture the spirit…

store video 1

store video 2

After a lot of visual stimulation, we swung by the park at the YMCA.  It had a few baby swings, and we let SJ spend a few minutes flying through the crisp November air.  She squealed with delight over the other little kids playing on the swings.  And she giggled with anticipation as we held the swing suspended in air before letting it and her go.

A few videos too…

park video 1

park video 2

November 21, 2015

We picked up a bug somewhere this week, and it’s given us a nasty head cold.  Consequently, our sleep has been off, our nose has been nasty, and our general mood is quite schizophrenic.  Last night, SJ went from asleep in our arms to playing like a mad woman, to crying despondently, to snuggling with her monkey.  She was crazy through the entire OU game.  At some point, I gave up and just let her cry it out a bit.  I’m thinking that had to have been at about 11:00pm.  Jeremy was up with her at 1:30 and then again at 5:30.  My shift started at 7:30.  I’m sure the humidifier is helping, but this bug is a doozy.

This morning she absolutely fell asleep while drinking her bottle and slept for a good 2 hours.  I don’t get to just hold her and watch her sleep very often, so I tried to soak it all up while I could.

And, yes, she has given the bug to me.

November 19, 2015

Thursday evening we were all piled up in the bed.  SJ was being super silly.  She had a couple of my pill bottles and was using them as maracas.  Sophie was jumping over us, sneaking in for pets, and occasionally surprising Selah June with a puppy kiss or two.  She LOVES puppy kisses! It’s definitely the anticipation of a furry little woodland creature darting by and snatching a lick or two between giggles.

Selah June’s new word is “Soph-Soph.”  She is struggling with the “Soph-ie,” but she gets her point across with her version.  It’s adorable.  Here are a few pics and a couple short videos.

Soph-Soph 1

Soph-Soph 2

November 18, 2015

This little monkey and I have some fun in the morning before our schedules kick into gear.  By the time Jeremy gets me processed through the shower, my tea, and my hair, she’s no longer in a snuggly mood.  So we often find ourselves on the floor throwing balls, in our highchair having morning snacks, or reading books and picking out familiar things.

The latest development in Selah June’s world is that she now will try to give kisses.  She wants kisses from the puppy.  She wants to give kisses to the monkey.  And she sometimes will lean in and give you “kisses” too.  That might look like an open mouth on your nose.  It might look like her nose touching your cheek.  It might be just a mouth bump.  You don’t know… You never know.  But it’s precious, and I’m trying to cherish each of them like you hold a little iridescent bubble in your hand just hoping it would never pop.

playing ball

November 16, 2015

I had a really long day stacked, beginning with meetings and ending with the first UWF Downtown Lecture Series event and donor dinner.  I knew it would be at least a 12 hour day away from the house.  We asked Ashley to come to the house a little later than usual.  With a few extra hours carved out to spend together, SJ and I had morning snuggles, floor playtime, a good nap, and some breakfast together.

One of my favorite things that we do together is sit and visit over nanas, chicky chicky, crackers, and all kinds of other finger foods.  It’s a time to slow way down and focus on each other.  We practice our words, sing little songs, crack jokes, come up with new tricks, and talk about our planned adventures for the day.

She’s getting to be such a funny kid.  She has a really keen sense of humor.  Everything is a game.  She’s always pulling your leg.  I have a feeling we’ll be dealing with a case of the class clown in just a few years.  (Of course, you know I think it’s awesome and can’t wait for the stories to unfold.)

My dinner ran late.  Around 9:30pm, Jeremy texted me that he needed reinforcements. SJ was having some kind of baby rave, talking and wallowing – making an even bigger mess than usual.  I came home, and the first thing they both wanted to show me was her new trick — making fart noises by blowing against the back of her hand.  Makes a mother proud.  🙂

November 14, 2015

Friday night, Jeremy and I went to a benefit for Trinitas, and realized it’s probably one of the only times we’ve both dressed up and gone to something as a couple (perfume and all) probably since the baby was born.  Don’t get me wrong.  We’ve escaped a couple of times to get dinner and go to Target.  We’ve done a few family adult things (not many).  But we really haven’t had the energy or desire to go to something really fancy together for a while evening.  Selah June is over 13 months old.  It’s been a blurry year!

Dinner and conversation was nice, but even more was the attention to each other – the holding hands, the stolen kisses, and the complements.  (I know…  gag)

Thank you, Grammy and Jessica, for taking shifts and watching SJ from morning until late at night to make it happen.

Then Saturday was a joy.  Playing with our little monkey of a 1 year old is getting really fun.  She cracks us up.  She cracks herself up.  Jeremy brought her into our room at some point in the morning, and we all just played in bed.  We tickled her belly and gave her kisses.  She squealed as the puppy gave her kisses.  She leaned in to give the puppy kisses… (her new trick)

And I realized…had this sense or feeling…that WE are a thing now.  Selah June is a part of our being.  It takes a while in marriage to really feel like you are “a being.”  And then we were a functioning, entwined unit for a really long time – just the two of us.  And I knew what we together were.  I knew our strengths as a couple as well as our weaknesses.  I knew the trouble topics and the fears.  I had a pattern to life that was good in its unique way.

So Saturday’s epiphany was really about that.  It was about the being that we are with Selah June. She is now part of our tangled wreath of beauty AND prickles.  She has changed every part of us.  We are who we are, and our strengths and weaknesses are shaping her too.  But our character has changed, as individuals and as a unit bound together by unconditional love.

Everything I experience from here forward involves her, and I’m super excited about that.

These are all things that every parent feels, I’m sure.  And probably this “feeling” or awareness hits earlier and more profoundly for most.  But we are a unique family.  The long infertility struggle, the miraculous and wild birth journey, and the stage of our lives she entered all impact how I psychologically process our being.  I have always loved her more than life itself.  And Jeremy is completely enraptured by her.  But we, the Evans family, are taking our shape – not only in others’ minds but also in my own. We have relationships with her as individual parents and a relationship with her as her parents.

And we don’t look like other families all the time.  Our story is one of sacrifice and love woven across traditional family lines and knotted with commitment.  It involves extended family who love her more than anyone could possibly know.  I don’t pretend to know how to do this life, how to write this story.  But I know what love looks like, and I’m working on practicing it every day.  We are shaping SJ’s character, and love will be central to that effort.

Saturday was restful and playful and thoughtful.  I want to purpose to make every weekend just like it.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

I took a fall Wednesday night.  It was such a dumb accident.  I had cleaned the floors and used some Pledge to bring back the wood finish.  It made the floor extra slick.  After changing a diaper, Selah June and I made our way to the dinner table.  As soon as I hit that section of the floor, my sock feet went right out from under me.  I clutched onto her and held her up to make sure I was under her when we hit the floor.  It really was a slow-motion experience.

I hit my back against the wall and fell right on my tailbone.  I’ve been sore for days.

Luckily, she was totally fine.  She seemed a little frightened by the experience, but she was back to her giggly self in a matter of minutes.

This episode reminded me of Mom’s spill when I was just about SJ’s age.  I was about to walk, and the fall put me in a cast for quite some time.

It was so scary.  I’m still feeling a little off, and it’s hard for me to know how much of it is the physical aftereffects of taking a hard fall and how much is the emotional aftereffects of a careless accident.

November 11, 2015

School was closed for Veterans Day, and so Selah June and I went on adventures with Grammy and Grandpa.  Sporting a fancy new hairdo of bangs-turned-into-pigtails, we rode up and down all the aisles scooping up compliments and smiles along the way.  You’ll notice that there is a monkey in lil miss’ left hand.  Monkey is now one of our favorite things.  It goes with us most places.  And everybody is encouraged to give monkey kisses.