March 31, 2015

Over the last few days, SJ has been more willing to sit in my lap at night and just chill.  She does this with Daddy, but generally she’s been less willing to do it with me.  So I was particularly grateful when she laid back against my chest and let me play with her little feet.  Watching her process each new Elmo video, I really started to realize how much of a little person she is.  I don’t know when that realization hits most people, but it’s hitting me right now.  At 8 months she’s definitely showing a budding little personality.  I know where she’s ticklish.  I know which Elmo video is her favorite.  I know where she’s the most calm and relaxed.  And I know when she’s frightened.  There’s also a little sense of humor in there.  She watched Daddy throw dog toys to Sophie this morning.  The poor puppy was so excited to get some attention that she started thrashing the toys back and forth and letting out a little growl.  Selah June just thought that was the funniest thing.  Silly puppy….

She loves watching other babies and little kids.  There are so many words in that mouth of hers just trying to come out.  Right now it sounds a lot like “durrrhh-a-duhhh.”

But the feeling that overwhelmed me as we sat together in the recliner watching Elmo was that Selah June the 20-year-old was in there.  She might like action movies and the color periwinkle.  She might go through a Goth phase.  She might hate avocados.  She might be a crier.  Or she might be a thrill-seeker.  All this and more is balled up potential behind those beautiful blue eyes.  Pretty soon she’s going to start telling me exactly what she likes and dislikes, what she wants and why she wants it.  Am I ready for that?  And, when she’s curled up in my lap letting me play with her toes, will I be able to say no?

We’re in trouble.