April 28, 2019

Is it possible that three months have gone by without a single reflection? No. Every single day presents reflection on how much SJ has grown, how different my life is because of her, and hope I have for her future. It’s also been a time of grounding for me. I’m trying to become not only who I’m meant to be but also who I want to be. I want to give myself to others, but I also don’t want to lose myself in them. I want to share our lives with friends and family and preserve this time for my future self, but I don’t want to miss it in real time because I am too busy taking pictures. I want to enjoy her being her in the moment, even if it means I don’t have it recorded to play back later.

She is four. Her beauty is bigger than her little body. Her imagination is my heart. Her humor is our joy.

There are so many things that happened this spring.

• We went on a cruise with her, and she LOVED it!
• She lost her blue blanket, and she survived.
• She started sleeping in her own bed again.
• She’s playing on her own.