HIT BY A BUS

October 24, 2015

I’ve been waiting for the day to come when I just couldn’t keep all the balls in the air and had to raise the white flag in surrender.  We came close to it this week, with a great crescendo of a climax last night.

Ten days ago, Miss SJ started having diarrhea.  We blamed it on pizza.  Then, as the days passed and the runs kept on runnin’, we blamed it on a virus.  About six days ago, she started showing signs of a cold.  With lots of cousins running around with the croup, we decided to nip it in the bud and take her to the doctor right away.  Dr. Jen put her on steroids and encouraged bland food for the diarrhea.

We worked through three days of steroids.  We gingerly handled severe diaper rash.  We ate only bread and bananas for days and days.  Meanwhile, I developed the same stomach bug and cold.  Grammy is knocked out with a horrible respiratory infection.  She sounds awful and can barely do anything without it knocking her on her petooty.

So that’s added a bit of intrigue to our week and rekindled our love for Ashley, SJ’s favorite sitter.  (Thank you, thank you, thank you, Abigail, for the recommendation!!!)

Night before last, she was just a mess.  She didn’t want to be in her crib.  Lying down made her cough, and that made her a pathetic little ball of unbearable sadness.  Jeremy took the 12:00am-3:00am shift, and I took the 3:00am-6am shift.  It made for a rough Friday at work, let me tell you…

Last night, she started a coughing fit after we had eaten dinner and had most of a bottle. In no time at all, a cough turned into a gag – and Mom was covered in vomit.  Wave after wave of hurling vomit crashed against the recliner, the floor, the blankets, the clothes, our hair.  It was quite amazing.  Jeremy just watched in horror as his anxiety began to shoot through the roof.

Turns out vomiting is okay for babies as long as they continue to pee.  Diarrhea is okay too, as long as a little pee pee follows close behind.  Really, I think a baby has to lose a limb or go into a coma before we all need to lose our shiz.  That’s what I’ve learned over the course of the last 24 hours.  Jeremy managed to survive with her at 2:00am, when she went through a similar round of hack-to-puke.

This morning, we’re doing a little better.  She’s kept down three 2oz. bottles and a piece of bread.  She’s napping without a coughing fit.  Jeremy’s crashed out.  I’ve had a shower.  Thank goodness for that!  And the only bad turn of events is that Jeremy has now joined Team Poop!

Parenthood for the win.