October 26-30, 2014
It started as a simple craft project to chronicle Miss Selah June’s first year of development. All the cool lesbian kids were doing it on Donor Half Sibs 2911. They had awesome chalkboards with cute little babies smiling for the camera. Here’s Kaden’s chalkboard for reference.
I wanted a chalkboard! I wanted a smiling little baby who just loved her chalkboard so much and wanted to show it off. So, weeks before her 1 month birthday, I research chalkboards, measured and purchased, and measured again and modified my purchase, and bought chalk pens, and planned my board. I went with chalkboard decals and carefully applied them to the nursery wall. For four days before her birthday, I worked on my creation.
For a normal person, this is not a big deal. But for somebody who only gets 10 minutes a day to do anything (that’s 10 minutes total, not 10 minutes per thing), executing a craft like this is a big deal. In fact, it’s a defining act… At this point, it is more than a chalkboard. It is a picture of my worth – my contribution to society.
And so I worked on my board AND FINISHED IT!!! Oh the feeling of accomplishment… The glorious board! It would be amazing. The lesbians would love it. They would be so jealous! How cute!!
The big day came… her 1 month birthday. I picked out her outfit to go with her board. The natural light was gone from her room by the time she was awake and I could get her set up for her pictures. And it was the witching hour….
NAILED IT!!!!
The next day, I warmed up Satie Isabella and Mom to see this pic (which made me laugh so hard I cried) by showing them Pinterest Nailed It! pics. Satie got it right away. Her sense of humor is awesome. She loved the Nailed It! pics of baked goods. She stuck out her bottom lip and shook her head… “That is not good.” Mom and I laughed and laughed at her. Then I showed them Selah June’s Nailed It! Mom teared up because it was so funny.
Oh well…. You can’t have everything in life. And right now I can’t prove my worth through a chalkboard. Selah June had to make sure of that! I uploaded the pic to Facebook to share with the lesbians. They thought it was awesome too… just not in the same way that Kaden’s board is awesome. (However, they are threatened by my mad sign skills….)
For the next several days, I tried to bring myself out of the pits of despair by more attempts.
Day 2
Even the antique filter doesn’t help. She looks like a mummified peanut corpse.
Day 3
She’s got the demon eyes and boxing gloves… That’s just not right.
Day 4
Okay… I can live with that. She is only 1 month (well, now she’s nearly 5 weeks) old. We have to pick our battles.
Oh crap. I just realized I only have three weeks to figure out the 2 month board.