January 14, 2018

Today was a real doozy of a day. Jeremy went to church because we had nursery duty. He told Mary that it would be our last Sunday, that we were going to be visiting other churches. And while he took care of the scary 3 year olds (including the youth pastor’s devil child), Mary ratted him out to the pastor. By the time the service was over, Wade and Mason were waiting to intercept Jeremy in the front entrance of the nursery. They went on and on about how important we are to the church and that they had missed us lately. Jeremy shrugged it off, said we had been busy, and then suggested that he needed to get home to his family. He said it was awkward, and I imagine that it was. I’m really proud of him for being the messenger. And I hate that they trapped him the way they did. Mom suggested that it was a positive sign that they actually took the time to reach out to him. I just think it was too little too late.

I know that we won’t be missed at all. I know that they won’t use our departure as an opportunity to think about the way they’ve been treating people. But I also know that we weren’t going to be able to move forward there. You have to be able to trust your pastor, and that ship sailed a while ago for me.

Selah June and I, back at the ranch, played outside on her park – even though it was freezing outside. We made a mango and avocado salad that was pretty yummy. And we cleaned the toy room. Daddy asked me to find out if Miss Rachael could come visit so that we could go see a movie, and SJ was super excited about that. We went to see “The Post,” and it was really really good. I snuck in my own snacks, and I’ve been downing the remainder of my sodas. Tomorrow we start Whole 30. I’m excited Mom and Sara are doing it with me as well. The only thing I think I’ll really miss is soda. The rest of it isn’t too far afield from how I already eat.

Tonight I made one of the worst mistakes of my whole career. I responded to an email from the dean and accidentally copied someone on it. And in the email I spoke disparagingly about the person. What an idiot I am. How could I possibly be so stupid you ask? I couldn’t spell her name right, so I used the address bar to see if gmail would recognize it by the first few letters and give me her complete name in response. And then I forgot to delete her email from the message. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. The dean’s not mad, but I am more than mad enough for the both of us.

The last few months have not been my favorite at work. I’m really thinking that I need to just hang it up for a while. The dean is still treating me very weird after all this Graduate School nightmarish mess. I’ve lost my confidence over the whole thing. I miss Jay terribly. The dean’s never around, so I get to hear all the office gaggle singlehandedly. And I’m just always distracted, stretched, and a little too absent. Maybe it will get better when she’s in actual school. I don’t know. If I’m given the flexibility of getting her to school and picking her up when it suits me, I’m always going to take her in a little later than I should and pick her up a little earlier too. And the only way I can stay sane is to exercise, so that cuts into the workday. And Jeremy feels like I spend too much time working at home as it is. So……???? What’s going to give? I feel like something has to give at some point.

I’m realizing this post is not really about Selah June.

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

The Southern Political Science Association meeting in New Orleans came early this year. I had to get us all out the door Wednesday morning so that I could get on the road and be to NOLA in time for lunch. But how do you wake a sleeping angel? Every morning now I wake up next to this little one. We have our milk and tea together while watching an episode of Paw Patrol or some Boss Baby. And then I shower and get ready while she finds new treasures in my drawers and jewelry boxes. She also likes to “help” me brush my teeth. (And the fact that it is electric doesn’t help matters any.)

She asked me where I was going. The luggage gave it away. It’s hard to explain to a 3 year-old that you work at her school where you also teach kids, but that you also have to leave home for work. It kind of helped with the processing that Paul came to visit from Oklahoma because we had a chance to talk about people living in different cities. She learned that we live in Pensacola. And she had to make sure that each of her family members (the non-Oklahoma members) lived in Pensacola too. So now, not only are we aware of everyone’s first and last names, we also are aware that they live in Pensacola.

I guess phone numbers will come next…

Friday, December 29, 2017

Paul came to visit us after Christmas, and Selah June was really excited to meet him and really spend time with him. While she did make the trip to Oklahoma, she was only 7 months old at the time. So this was an awesome opportunity for her to forge a relationship. We settled on “Grandaddy.” Poor Paul had no input.

He drove all the way to Florida to see us, and it took him all day on Thursday to make the trip. Friday, Jeremy got off work a little early and took us to Fish House. Mom and Dad met us there, and we had delicious food. Selah June chowed down on some bread and mashed potatoes.

Afterward, we drove out to the beach just in time for sunset. The water was so stinkin’ cold, but that didn’t stop SJ from running to and from the edge of the water. By the time we left, she was soaked up to her knees with sand-crusted leggings and no change of clothes. Somebody got to ride home in nothing but underwear (and it wasn’t Jeremy).

Christmas started early for one little Junie Buggie. Santa left a fully-assembled “park” in her backyard the evening of the 22nd. To her glorious surprise, it was waiting for her the morning of the 23rd… two whole days before Christmas. She immediately had to get out there and check it out. Much like her daddy, she couldn’t be bothered with putting on pants first.

We ate breakfast at the picnic table under the fort. And she tried out the swings, checked out the slide (but fell flat on her booty the first try and steered clear of it for a few days), and hung from the rings. Jeremy had planned on going to work as an elf to boost morale, and so he showed up to give us goodbye kisses looking like Santa’s helper.

If I only had captured this photo weeks before Christmas instead of a few days before Christmas, it might have ended up serving as our Christmas card.

Once Daddy left, we put on clothes and our jacket and spent a few hours really checking everything out. We spent lots of time on the swings – next to each other as well as with me pushing her way up high in the sky. I was sure Jeremy would not approve of the risky behavior, but she was enjoying every second of it.

We also mastered the rock-climbing wall and used it repeatedly to get into our fort. The babies had to stay in the fort, and I think a few of them ended up  spending the night out there.

Selah June was up fairly late Christmas Eve night. I had wrapping duty, so most of my evening was spent in my bedroom. The nice thing about anticipation of Santa’s visit is that it serves as a great motivator. She ate her dinner and took her bath – both with minimal resistance.

Once she went to bed, we took a few trips up and down the stairs to bring it all out from our bedroom to the fireplace. Jeremy noted that for a kid who was getting her big present a few days before Christmas, she certainly was not hurting for gifts on Christmas Day.

Jeremy actually had to wake her up Christmas morning. She was in our bed, having made the trek upstairs at some point in the night. Jeremy woke up around 6am to make cinnamon rolls, and came to wake her up around 7/7:30.

She was very patient and waited for me to get down the stairs to watch her see all her presents. But then it was a constant flurry of activity and excitement. The lighting was poor, and she didn’t stand still for a second. I didn’t get any great shots…. some video, but not great pictures.

The theme of this year was babies. We LOVE babies. She probably received 4 babies. Some made noises; one was an American Girl Doll; one came with milk and orange juice; and all of them are enjoying a miniature pink crib, highchair, and rocker in the new nursery – SJ’s toy room.

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At Grammy’s house, SJ had a stack of presents to tear through. There were so many moments she wanted to share with Jules, but he was really focused on his own presents. She would open something, and say “Hey Jules! Look at this! A baby, Jules!” And he wouldn’t even hear her. That’s the most difficult part of this particular phase of cousin life. The volume of six young children is high ALL THE TIME. After about an hour of it, you swear you’re going to lose your mind.

Nonetheless, we did keep the kids focused on individuals zones of gifts. They managed to get through all of their gifts at one sitting and without many meltdowns. And then they cleared out and let the adults have a bit of time to open their presents. I think we’re beginning to see a light at the end of the crazy-town children tunnel.

One of her favorite gifts was a Frozen lollipop holder from her stocking. Sometimes it’s the littlest things that captivate their attention and affection.

She also got a doctor’s kit, and it came with such funny stuff. The modern doctor set still comes with a stethoscope, a thermometer, and shots. But it also comes with spectacles and a cell phone. She loved it! She immediately used the phone to call and tell mommy, “No more monkeys jumping on the bed!”

SJ’s Mimi gave her a Calico Critters cottage. It came with some critters and furniture, and Selah June was very excited. It’s so hard to tell kids that they have to wait to open stuff up until they go home. But it was also quickly apparent that the kids were going to fight over opened presents. And SJ was far from innocent in this war over new toys.

Mom’s window seat kid table was a popular space this Christmas. But the kids all lined up on a single side of the table as opposed to on either side. We had to get a picture of the congested silliness.

By the end of dinner, the kids were turning into monster pumpkins. I scarfed down dessert, but then we had to remove Selah June from the setting. She was beside herself from all the stimulation and fatigue.

December 19, 2017

Today was really hard. I’m not gonna lie.

We are in the week leading up to Christmas. I’ve worked some fun days into the schedule. Selah June is not in school this week, and I plan to take advantage of the opportunity for quality time. But today we had many repair men scheduled to fix unexpected problems. The downstairs air conditioner broke, so we’ve had no heating downstairs for several days. We just replaced the unit upstairs, so this was not something that we were ready to hear. The roofers finally showed up to fix the leak over the master bedroom. The washing machine stopped draining last night. It’s only about 16 months old. Gag….

So I wasn’t in a great mood and had to rearrange work around these visits. And this came on the heels of us all being sick at the same time. We all went to the doctor between Thursday and Friday. Colds, viruses, respiratory infections… all kinds of junk.

Selah June’s sleep was weird last night after a really long late afternoon nap. So she was in a rare mood today. We have definitely hit up against the “poopy” phase. Every other word is “poop.” And, don’t get me wrong. We did encourage it. At first, it was funny. But now, it’s about as constant as “why.” And Momma is about to lose her mind.

We had a huge fight about taking a shower, and then she immediately crashed out. Sara and I had to talk on stuff, but that didn’t go so well either. Selah June didn’t want to share my attention, and she only wanted to say “poop.” When Sara left, I decided we needed some fresh air. We went to Target, and I pulled into a spot next to the cart rack. Except that I didn’t clear the cart rack. Great…

That was my breaking point, and unfortunately Jeremy talked to me at that inopportune moment. I was not the grownup in the situation. SJ sensed the disturbance in the force and immediately wanted to hold my hand as we walked into the store. She told me she loved me. And she was excited about going to Target and getting into the cart.

December 5, 2017

After she finally woke up, we got ready for school. She had to wear her unicorn sunglasses because they made her “super cool.” She sauntered up to the doors all ready to see her classmates drool over her coolness. She checked herself in and then ran to her class… so excited!

And then…

She stood on the outside of the door covering both of her huge eyeglass eyes hiding from her friends. I opened the door, and she followed me in reluctantly and collapsed on the floor while covering both of her huge eyeglass eyes.

The teachers said, “Those are some pretty cool sunglasses you have, Selah June!” And she just crouched down even further.

We’re still working on our entrance.

December 5, 2017

Selah June now ends up in our bed most every night. She wakes up at some point, goes potty, and then realizes she’s alone in her room. She makes her way up the stairs and asks for help climbing in the bed on her daddy’s side. Her “spot” is between us, and her pillow is the brown one. Usually she brings a baby or two and her blue blanky. This morning was rare in that I was awake before she was. I couldn’t handle all the sweetness and had to capture it for posterity.

December 3, 2017

We spent the evening over at Grammy and Grandpa’s house, and Selah June had a blast helping Grammy fix dinner. Grammy pulled up the foot stool, and SJ jumped right in with both hands to help make the salad. We all wore our jammies to be super comfy, and Grandpa had a great fire going.

Miss Priss is pretty helpful in the kitchen. I think we probably have a rising chef on our hands.

December 6, 2017

As of late, we’re sooooo all about the babies. And everything is a baby. Minnie is a baby, and Mickey is a baby. Our Paw Patrol pups are babies, and our babies are babies. Yesterday, I went to buckle myself in after giving her time to get herself situated in the car… When I turned back to look at her progress, I saw her Jamaican doll buckled in as well as my wallet.

My wallet buckled in.

People keep asking what she would like for Christmas. You can’t go wrong with babies. We’re running a freakin’ daycare over here.

She is good to her babies. She changes them (using REAL diapers) about every 5 seconds. And she needs my help to do it, so she has to come up with creative excuses as to why they need to be changed again so soon. And she feeds her babies… a really convenient excuse for getting extra snacks and treats. And she makes sure they are tucked in bed with lots of covers.

It’s so sweet. I really love that about this age.

Saturday, December 2, 2017

We went to see the lights at Bellingrath Gardens last Saturday night. It was the same night as the SEC Championship game in which Georgia and Auburn were playing. Unlike previous years, it was pretty busy with all the Bama fans. Jeremy did his typically off-the-chain job of making every second of the adventure something magical. She wore her Christmas dress. We took Grammy and Grandpa. Her babies were buckled in the backseat. We got there, and he immediately bought her the necklace at the register with LED Christmas lights. Then we got her a wagon for her to ride with her blanket throughout the gardens.

One of the first scenes is the rose garden full of massive butterflies aglow with Christmas lights. It was in full bloom. All the roses looked and smelled spectacular. Jeremy asked SJ if she liked the flowers. And in typical form, she replied:

“Dad, I did not come to look at flowers.”